Confessions Of A Tasmanian Intern
Stoke just lost an intern, a great intern, who came to us from the pubic isle south of the Australian mainland. We can’t say her real name, because her day job is some highly sensitive government shit and she mistakenly believes that anyone reads this blog, so let’s just call her Kate.
And while it is with stoically withheld sadness that we wish Kate farewell, she’ll never join us at Las Fallas oder Frühlingsfest, nor will she shoulder the burden of arbitrarily inserting links into text, it is with justified optimism that we welcome our new intern, whose name we’re still not sure whether we’re allowed to mention or not.
Before she left we asked Kate to compile a final listicle, considering how much she adored writing listicles during her time at Stoke Towers, and while it’s a little lacklustre compared to her usual work, we’re going to publish it nonetheless because it’s instructive to prospective interns, and also mostly because we don’t want to write anything ourselves.
Eleven Things You Will Take Away From Being a Stoke Intern
- Money can’t buy happiness
But it can buy food, and you will need that sometimes.
- Unlimited beer and sangria
Isn’t as appealing as it might sound.
- Free accommodation
The term accommodation is sometimes used loosely.
- Trust no one
Moisturiser? Toothbrush? Stale rice cakes? Lock it up.
- Very basic Spanish
Hola… No hablo Espanol, una momento por favor.
- Facebook Messenger…
Is an appropriate way to make professional communications with your colleagues. Just don’t message your boss about work on Sunday nights, he won’t like it.
- Shitting where you eat
Very few people can pull it off, think twice before subjecting your colleagues to that.
- Don’t worry, they’ll grow on you
By the time they do, it’ll be time to leave.
- Visa schmisa
If you never leave, who is going to stop you from re-entering? Not the Spanish, that’s for sure.
- Don’t take the company culture too far
Don’t do anything your bosses wouldn’t do, that’s plenty of leeway.
Well that was a rather scathing list, Kate. If you, or anyone you hold dear, or even enemies of yours who are nice people that you just can’t seem to see eye-to-eye with, would like to hone your list-writing skills with Europe’s most progressive and morally bankrupt travel company, Stoke Travel, send a cool story to firstname.lastname@example.org and polish up your non-existent Spanish.