Die unentschlossene Reisende erkennt, dass sie in der Tat alles kann
Perpetually undecided young traveller, Charlotte Branson, 23, has given travel buddies a sigh of relief with the discovery that she can actually go everywhere with the Stoke Travel Passport.
Branson had previously given her peers the shits with her inability to commit to one trip at a time, instead flip flopping, changing her mind, and sometimes going on completely outrageous tangents.
“We’d be sitting around drinking cider planning, say, a trip to the Laufen der Bullen, and Charlotte would start pulling up cheap flights to München, like out of nowhere!”, explained a friend who told reporters she was at her wit’s end. “Last year she didn’t go on one trip, because she wanted to go on all the trips, and we couldn’t lock her down on a plan. And then she had the audacity to comment on our IG posts things like, Looks like so much fun, thanks for the invite girls, LOL, like, are you for real? We literally spoke about this six times in person and I even emailed you the itinerary and booking instructions.”
But with her discovery of the Stoke Reisepass, Branson has realised that perhaps in 2018/19 she’ll be able to do every trip she wants to do, and even some she hasn’t even discovered yet.
“Oh my god, so I went to the website and they had everything I wanted to do this year – bulls, Oktoberfest, the Tomaten kämpfen und surfing in Spain, plus I’ve always wanted to go to Ibiza for Spring Break und das Weinkampf, that sounds sick, but there’s also that trip to Kings Day…”, she told already confused reporters, before rattling off another 10 or so destinations.
Stoke Travel’s señorita de satisfaction, Emily Harrison, told reporters that the Passport was designed for travellers like Charlotte, as well as anyone who liked to keep their options open, while getting a fucking good deal. “Yeah, we know about her. She used to ring up to enquire about, say, the Barcelona Städtereise, and two hours and 15 different trips later she still hadn’t locked down a destination. So we offered her the Passport, which will give her two years to do three trips, with over 20 to choose from, and she doesn’t have to confirm which trips she’ll be doing immediately, she can just tell us a week in advance and she’s booked in.
“Plus, if she does book further in advance than that, to fit in with pre-existing travel plans, or take advantage of cheap flights, she can change her mind and opt out of the trip up to a week in advance as well. We didn’t create the Passport with Charlotte in mind, but bloody hell it looks perfect for her. Now she can be as indecisive as she likes, and flip flop almost whenever she wants, and not lose her booking fee, or miss out on a spot on the trip.”
At the time of publication, Branson was reported to be looking into purchasing a second, and even third, Stoke Travel Passport, due to the fact that she was keen on doing at least 19 of the 20+ trips. Her long-suffering friends meanwhile were busy making their travel plans, happy in the knowledge that they didn’t have to include Branson, and she could just jump on at the last minute.
“Look, in this world some of us like to be prepared, and some of us don’t, but if we all have the Passport then we can book travel our way and nobody has to miss out.”, the unnamed friend mused, “And we can just tune out when Charlotte performs one of her monumental subject changes. We were talking about going to Sziget, for frig’s sake, how did she start going on about camel rides in Morocco? Un-fucking-believable!”
The Stoke Travel Passport is good for three trips over two years (time starts with first trip), which is 12 nights all-inclusive travel, with the option to add on unlimited beer and sangria for €10 a day. Get your Stoke Travel Passport for only €550, fuck plans, follow your heart and travel Europe your way.