Sagen Sie den Shenanigans des Sommers mit Stil Sayonara. Es spielt keine Rolle, ob Sie die Saison Herbst oder Herbst nennen. Alles, was zählt, ist, dass es in Europa am Sonntag, September, beginnt.
Drei Gründe, warum Marokko sicherer und besser als Europa ist
Because cous-cous and camels weren’t enough to get you clicking
Has this cold snap seen the Euro winter sneak up on you? Stuck with plans for tomorrow, next week, later in the year? Look no further than our winter home-away-from-home, the Kingdom of Morocco, a short and cheap hop-and-a-skip across the Med, from Europe and into North Africa.
1. It’s safer than wearing two condoms
Tourist dollars have the power to help economies bloom like flowers in the springtime. A whopping 18.7% of Morocco’s GDP came from the tourism industry in 2013. Unfortunately, in these terse times of ISIS trying to intimidate everyone and politicians such as Trump trying to antagonise everyone, travelling can seem a little risky and the timid among the intrepid are choosing to stay at home, having an unpleasant impact on tourism industries around the world. Those who do leave home understandably want to stay within their comfort zones – zones that probably don’t extend to Islamic nations in Northern Africa. They say ignorance is bliss, but ignorance is also a little dangerous. Morocco hasn’t had a terrorist attack since 2011, while European countries including France, Germany and Turkey have experienced several in 2016 alone, making Morocco the smarter choice for those worried about what seems to be the world’s impending death-by-terrorists-and-governments.
And while Morocco is an Islamic nation, it ain’t dry and it ain’t no Saudi Arabia. Although alcohol isn’t widely sold or available, and drinking in public is frowned upon, it can be purchased in some restaurants, bars and shops and you won’t be getting lashes with the cat-o’-nine-tails for drinking it. Want proof? Famous people like it. Posh and Becks renewed their wedding vows in Marrakech und came back to celebrate Davey’s 40th, while fellow Brit Lily Allen took a selfie-filled holiday there in late 2015. The Mawazine festival in Rabat brought hot-90s-singers JLo and Usher out of retirement to perform, and Cristiano Ronaldo regularly flies to Morocco to hang out with his kickboxing champ buddy Badr Hari. If it’s safe enough for the world’s richest athlete, it’s safe enough for you. It’s especially safe at our sleepy seaside Surf Palace in Taghazout, 30 minutes from Agadir airport.
2. It’s warmer than where you are
You had to put on a jumper before 5pm yesterday and the act filled you with nostalgia for those steamy days of your fading Euro summer trip: literally the best 3 months out of all your 252 months on this earth. Don’t try to maintain that tan in the concrete jungles of the European mainland, your inappropriate nudity and cold nipples will all be in vain. Jump on a budget airline, cross the 13 kilometres of Gibraltar straits and step off the plane into the balmy airs of Morocco, where the average daytime temperature in October is 20-26 degrees celsius, with occasional spikes into the 30s. As we write this it is 20 degrees and stormy in Barcelona, yet 32 degrees and sunny in Agadir. Why isn’t our office in Agadir? Because we’re fucking stupid. And what with all this global warming, things can only get better.
3. More activities than a big bedroom with plenty of space for activities
Months of hedonism left you feeling a little fat and depressed? Take it all back in Taghazout – your rig, your mental health, your sleep targets, your tan, and your pretences of cultural appreciation. Spend your days surfing (or flirting with your babin’ Stoke surf instructor), doing yoga on the beach, reading, sunbaking, cliff-jumping in Paradise Valley, riding camels, riding each other, bathing in the hammam and winding through the (literally) spicy (metaphoric) mountains of the souk. Your stay (week? weekend? whatever you like!) will include accommodation in our water’s edge Surf Palace, meaning you’ll fall asleep and wake up to panoramic views of the Atlantic and the Sahara. Could you afford such a view in Europe? No, you couldn’t. Get your mojo back in Morocco, the perfect note on which to end your best summer evah.
For a look at Stoke’s location, accommodation and general good time in Morocco, check out @stoketravel on the ‘Gram.
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Zum Beispiel: Wenn Sie in ein heißes Klima reisen, sollten Sie in einen schweren Jeansoverall investieren, denn es gibt keinen besseren Weg, um neue Freunde zu beeindrucken und Ihr Temperament zu halten, als wenn Sie mehr schwitzen als eine Nonne an einem Gurkenstand.
BARCELONA, SPAIN: after listening to our customers and taking their concerns seriously, Stoke Travel has announced plans to be clown-free within three years.
So viel Scheiße! Gönnen Sie sich etwas… Dies ist möglicherweise der erste halbkohärente Booze Letter seit dem Oktoberfest, der organisierten Verschlechterung von Gehirnzellen, der wir uns jedes Jahr mit Begeisterung unterziehen.
Trocknen Sie Ihre Augen, nach Hause gefesselte Reisende. Kannst du nicht sehen, dass deine Tasse halb voll ist?