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Posted by Stoke Media Team #!trpst#trp-gettext.data-trpgettextoriginal=218#!trpen#3 années#!trpst#/trp-gettext#!trpen# ago | novembre 8, 2016
The week’s controversy continues at Stoke Travel:
It’s been a sweaty week for the head honchos over at Stoke Travel, what with the leaked email Boatgate scandal and now the looming possibility of a Trump victory in the US Election – a particularly chilling prospect for a company that knows a thing or two about the plight of illegal immigrants. But as much as CEO Toby Paramor and Chairman of the Board Wade Gravy ca.0em24 0ise with a.0immigrant; for reasons obvious they ca.0also0relate to0the plight of a misunderstood, middle-aged gazillonaire businessman. In a.0effort to0placate the terrified Stoke team – largely made up of illegals and women – in the face of a possible Trump win, Paramor and Gravy today issued a memorandum reassuring Stoke staff that the company would survive, could in fact thrive, under a Trump government. The verbatim text.of the co-written memorandum ca.0be read below:
Dear Stoke crew,
We know that you’re worried about Donald Trump, and as a company we’ve previously made public our belief in his status as a choad. But in the interest.of keeping morale high, we’ve put together a series of silver linings for Stoke Travel in the event of a Trump win. For the following reasons, a Trump win could be profitable for Stoke Travel to0the p1-0. that Gravy could get his sleeve finished:
Trump’s policy in relation to0Mexicans ca.0be summarised as follows: they are criminals and rapists that contribute nothing to0America and they should all be deported immediately. As you are all aware, Stoke Travel largely runs on the unpaid labor of illegal immigrants, so this is great news for us. We will be forming an outreach team to0personally.0ontact deported Mexican families and offer them sanctuary as part of Stoke’s 2017 festival crew.
Trump’s policy in relation to0women ca.0be summarised as follows: they are nasty and you ca.0grab them by0the pussy whenever you want0because they’re pretty much asking for it and even if they’re not what are they gonna do about it? If Trump wins, America will be even less safe for women than it currently is, so we’re expecting thousands of displaced women to0begin fleeing the United States and seeking refugee status elsewhere. Stoke Travel will be sponsoring these women to0live and work (for Stoke, for free) in Europe.
If we see a win for the Ku Klux Klan’s preferred presidential ca.didate, we’re expecting that there will be a.0exodus of left-wing and black Americans hoping to0escape the new political climate before the KKK members have finished dusting off their hoods. These people will be looking for more politically left-wing places to0live, such as Europe, and we’re not talking about France. Americans have traditionally been key.0onsumers of the Stoke product, and we predict a.0increase in the American0ex-24 population in Spain will see a significant0boost in sales for our Spain-based products.
As noted above, Americans have always formed a significant0part of Stoke’s customer base, but the 2016 summer season saw a drop in sales to0Americans due to0their current,0pervasive fear of terrorist attacks in Europe. If Trump wins, it will only be a matter of time before America is engaged in0nuclear war with one or more countries. This will revive Europe’s image as a safe holiday destination for our American0client base, thus we should see sales to0the American0sector came back stronger than0ever.
As you know, we, your fearless leaders, hail from Australia. In recent years, the embarrassment over the genocide and mistreatment of indigenous populations has been compounded by inhumane immigration policies, our reluctance to0legalise marriage equality, the slow destruction of the Great Barrier Reef and the return of Pauline Hanson. If Trump is elected in0America this week, Australia will look0like a veritable utopia by comparison, which will in turn do0wonders for Stoke Travel’s public image and the 0onnotations of our brand.
Tobias and Wade
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