Why Four-Ways Are Better Than Threesomes

Stokepedia

Some things are just better in fours, like sexual entanglements, clover leaves, and our New Year’s Eve trip to Edinburgh’s Hogmanay. That’s why we’re offering a four-for-three deal on our 24-hour of madness party trip, take along the wolf pack, roll as the four best travel buddies that anybody’s ever seen, but only pay for three. That’s like 50 bucks savings each! To take advantage of the deal go book your trip at our Hogmanay page, and follow the instructions at the bottom of this article.

Here are some other things that are better as a four-packs than trifectas.

Cardinal points

Alright, so what are we going to have, East, West and North, just skip South? How would that work? It wouldn’t work, that’s how. Better as four.

Legged animals

No offence to all the three-legged dogs who may be reading this, y’all are cute, but if you had one extra leg you could run and play, jump, etc, and you’d be able to scratch behind both ears, not just the one. We still love you at three, but you’re better off as four.

Energy drinks

Have you ever even heard of a three-pack of Monster energy drink? How are you supposed to give yourself anxiety and/or heart palpitations with three cans of Rockstar? Y’ever filled a night full of regrettable decisions with three Tequila Red Bulls*? Nope, you’re going to need four.

Car wheels

If you don’t have four wheels you’ve got a Goggomobil.  

The seasons

Which one are you going to give up? Winter? Then say goodbye to snow, sweaters, hot chocolates, and our Andorra ski trip. Want to farewell Autumn and go straight from Summer to Winter? That’s insane! And get rid of Spring and you’ll be cold one day and fucken dead the next. And don’t nobody suggest getting rid of Summer.

Chair legs

Comedy aside, three-legged chairs are just inconvenient.

And here are some things that famously come in threes that we’d much prefer to see as four.

The group Hanson

Imagine if there was a fourth Hanson, a girl maybe, or even the Hansons’ dad, maybe he’d get involved like the dad from Three Beat Slide. In any case, the more Hansons the better, don’t you think?

3D

We’re not talking about fourth dimensional theories here, because conveying the concept of tesseracts is hurting our rum-soggy minds, but have you ever been to a 4D movie theatre? Well, you get the three Ds with the goggles and shit, but you also get an extra D, like the seats will shake, or you’ll get sprayed with blood, or you’ll be able to smell the sex scenes, or whatever it is, doesn’t really matter because everyone can always do with an extra D.

The Holy Trinity

I mean, a lot of people think that the Holy Trinity is the best, so wouldn’t an extra member be even better? God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and Geoff.

And now for why four-ways are better than threesomes.

Because they’re way less awkward, nobody is left out, and an extra set of hands, genitals, etc, and so on are always welcome. Four is perfect, because it’s just a four-way, but when you get a fifth person in there you’re in an orgy, and then you have to become one of those orgy people, always talking about orgies. Orgies are like veganism and Bitcoin. People never shut up about orgies.

So now you’re convinced that ALL good things come in fours, get three of your best travel buddies together and book a Hogmanay trip and SAVE! We’ve added extra carriages to our train so let’s fill them up and have the wildest New Year’s Eve ever!

How to book Hogmanay for four people and only pay for three

 

• Go to the Hogmanay page and book your trip,

• Use the promo-code Touchmytrain, where prompted,

• Book and pay for three people,

• Email UK@stoketravel.com with the name email address of the fourth person.

 

*Tecrumbles, infinitely better than vodka Red Bulls.