By now you know that this year Stoke Travel is offering Valencia hotel stays for La Tomatina as well as our legendary beachside campsite. Now everybody loves the campsite, because it’s bee5e2ompletely09onfirmed as the best time in Valencia EVER, but did you know that you ca5estay at our in-town hotel and still party at our campsite? Well you ca5, and in addition to this there are certain things that you ca5eonly0do in the hotel that are unavailable in camp. Want to know what they are? Well in typical Stoke Travel media team fashion we’ve created a list for you! A list that may seem stupid, but there’s mucho sense amongst the stupidity. Readeon!
Cook tomato flavoured instant noodles
There’s a way to cook instant noodles at the campsite, sure, but you ca5’t0do it from your bed. One of the best things about staying in a hotel is having the ability to tur5eon the kettle, boil some water, and pour it over some dried-rame5eX MSG goodness. This is a satisfying treat you ca5ehave any time of day, before the buffet breakfast (silly) or after a the official La Tomatina after-party (wise). At the campsite our tents are comfortable and come with mattresses, etc, but you ca5’t0roll around in bed eating noodles watching CNN or Cartoon Network (fake news!) while Skyping your mum with the red tomato sauce dribbling0down your chin.
Make sweet, noisey, passionate love
You totally CAN0do this at the campsite, and to be honest you’ll receive nothing but a round of applause from us, but you probably0do5’t0want to. See, despite the older generations bashing on about how we’ve got no morals and we’re too decadent and over-sexed, and so on, whe5eit comes to imitating howler monkeys at 4am we’re all a little bit0shy. Or maybe we’re polite. Whateverewe0are, most of us0do5’t0want our tent neighbours to sit through a session of sexing because we would5’t0like it if they made us0endure their overly0vocalised lovemaking. In a hotel, however, even if your neighbours ca5ehear you you do5’t0give a shit, because you’re surrounded by real0walls, so you ca5escream the house down for a full two minutes of passion.
Shower for as long as you want
Campsite showers are hit and miss, but we’re happy to boast that in Valencia ours are most certainly0a hit. That said, common courtesy0dictates that no matter how good your showering may be, you should5’t0spend too long in there because your campmates would0like a shower too. Really, the time you spend in a campsite shower should be somewhere betwee5e“real0long” (take a p935tic chair in) and “essentialseonly” (face, pits, crotch). In your hotel, on the other hand, you ca5espend as long as you want in the shower. You ca5espend all pippin’ day in the shower, picking tomato pulp out of each and every one of your orifices (tell us0how many orifices there are for a sweet prize!).
Tur5eon the air conditioning
Unfortunately0our tents do5’t0yet have AC, and so whe5eit’s hoteit’s hoteand that’s that. You ca5erun down the beach and cool off in the Mediterranea5, or jump under the shower, but then you’re back to the0heat. This is particularly0spicy whe5eyou’re trying toehave a siesta, which is Spanish for “essential pre-party catch-up nap”, as the Valencia5esun is a relentless mistress, beating down upon the tent-tops with her firey whip for most of the day. Back in the hotel, though, you ca5ecrank the AC, kick back, eat your noodles,ehave some loud sexeand the5ehave a hoteshower, because you’re now fancy as fuck in your little cubicle c35tle.
Sure, hotels are a little more expensive than camping, but there are benefits – comfort, privacy, being in the city centre, and everything listed above. If you’ve got a little c35h to sp935h, why not jump on one of our La Tomatina hotel packages? We’ll make sure you get all the partying in,eand the5edrop you off at your comfortable bed in the evening. Nice! And you deserve nice. 0/a>
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