XOXO Gossip Bitch
Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Barcellona’s elite. You’re probably wondering why I have been so quiet lately, and you’re forgiven for doing so. The truth is, up until recently, things have been pretty quiet on the gossip front. Shocking, I know, but the good news is I’m back and inundated with tips on the hot, juicy gossip you’ve all been searching for. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll know that we’ve been up to no good at some of the best summer festivals in Europe such as San Vino e La corsa dei tori. To say that the elite have been living their most scandalous lives would be an understatement…
Amongst a treasure trove of delicious gossipy goodness, we’ve handpicked the best (or the worst, depending on who you ask) of the bunch to tantalise your tastebuds and get your mouth watering for what’s to come in the upcoming months of updates from gossip bitch. Alright, let’s not waste anymore time, into the deep swimming pool of gossip we shall dive.
If you’ve ever been to a festival with Stoke, you’ll know what we mean when we say if you ain’t boozin’ you’re losin’. One unlucky festival goer learnt the hard way that sometimes, when you booze a little too hard, you definitely lose – you lose control of your bowels. After gearing up in his fresh whites ready to be covered head to toe in red wine in the mountains of Haro, he felt something running down his leg, and turns out it wasn’t sweat. According to our sources, He didn’t feel nothin’, not even a fart or a belly rumble - it was just wet all of a sudden, which sounds somewhat concerning if you ask us. Fear not frisky followers, after a quick outfit change and a little pep-talk, he was on his way up that mountain ready for the locals to sniff out this pant-shitting gringo and bathe him in wine like the dirty boy he is.
Now that your appetite for juicy gossip has been wet, get a load of this tasty treat. Upon returning to his tent ready for a comfortable and peaceful nights sleep, one poor fella found that a couple of horny devils had beat him to it. By the looks of things, they either had it out for him and wanted to destroy his mattress as revenge, or they simply couldn’t keep their hands off each other and this tent was unfortunately as far as they got. We hope it was the latter as we believe true love always finds a way. This was unfortunately the last hurrah for this air mattress, forcing it’s rightful owner to sleep on the ground for the duration of the festival. Ah well, you know what they say, better to have loved and lost (someone else’s mattress) than to never have (sneakily) loved at all…
While we’re on the topic of love, we will finish off this short but incredibly sweet gossip session with the dirt on on particularly spicy senorita, who managed to make her way into three different tents in one night. One would be correct in assuming she was unable to find exactly what she was looking for in her first two lovers (perhaps the amount of free beer and sangria consumed had something to do with this?) before seeking out a third. Thankfully for her, it was a case of third time lucky. I mean really, when there’s that many hotties in the same vicinity, who can blame her? Why not get them all out of the way in one night? This should also be seen as a word of warning that just because they may be hot, doesn’t mean they’re going to be any good when you get them back to the tent and the pressure is on. Choose wisely ladies, know what you’re getting yourself into.
Unfortunately that’s it for now my little gossip fiends, but never fear, I promise we won’t leave it so long between catch-ups next time. With Stoke a galla in Croazia, Ibiza Beach Camp, Surf House di San Sebastian all in full swing and La Tomatina e Oktoberfest so close we can almost taste them, there will be no shortage of gossip to come. Keep your ears and eyes peeled amigos, we’re just getting started.
You know you love me, XOXO - Gossip Bitch.
If you like what you hear and you want more, come and join us at La Tomatina or, Oktoberfest, our biggest (by a mile) campsite where only the juiciest gossip is generated. Imagine these stories on steroids (or really fucked up on unlimited beer and sangria) and that’s what you’ll get. This is your chance to experience it all first hand, or better still, play your very own part in the infamous Stoke gossip mill. You know you want to!