What Your Favourite Sex Style Says About Your Next Stoke Trip
Chance are, if you’ve been on a Stoke Travel trip you’ve done sex before. Maybe not on the trip, although our camps are legendary for inspiring and facilitating all kinds of awkward, cramped tent sex, but you’ve for sure made it with someone, somewhere. We’re basing this assumption on: a) the lack of gamers on Stoke Travel trips (lol, jokes, we have plenty of gamers) and b) an almost absolute absence of the Catholic clergy. If you haven’t had sexual relations yet in your life, never fear! There’s plenty of time for that (like now!).
So assuming that you’ve had sex before you probably have a favourite way to do it. Well, just like star signs can tell us profound things about your personality and future fortunes, sexing style can tell us what’s in your future. This is science, sexy science, and you’d be a bad person if you tried to go against the fucking flow of fucking things.
Intimate. Unadventurous. Energy saving. Missionary position is the entry-level and most reliable approach to banging uglies with someone you don’t find ugly. There’s mucho skin and eye contact, which is nice if you’re humping somebody you totally like and perhaps a little creepy if you’re at a swingers party. We’re not only talking about standard missionary position here, but also its more risqué variations, like the pancake, where your partner will have his* or her ankles around their ears, or the Barcelona Back Breaker, which needs so much further explanation that we won’t do here.
Next holiday: the San Sebastian Surf Camp! It was Stoke’s first European trip, and the one we’ve done the most often. It also involves lots of embracing and laying on things.
*Fun fact! Men can be the bottom of missionary too! Just make sure the huevos don’t dangle in the way. Gay and bi men and ladies with strap-ons can enjoy the sensation of laying on a sex surfboard too!
Anything sexual with “cow” in it conjures up images of riding wild and dirty, hat held high over head, whooping and hollering as you get bovine buck-wild and ride that D like a mechanical bull. But reverse cowperson, now that is something special, because you’re taking that untamed wild-west spirit and reversing it, so while the west was wild first and then tamed, you’re going to start of civilised and end up fucking savage.
Next holiday: the Running of the Bulls, but not for the bull run, that is so done now, but for the kickass street party and campsite poolparty music festival bonanza we do. Not only is it a reversing of the trend, it will start slowly and end in awesome mayhem. Yeehah, cowperson.
We’re talking three or more here, the more the merrier, in these good, healthy, old fashioned gang bangs. Actually, the more old fashioned the better, so keep your socks on! Alright! Grouplove doesn’t have to mean everybody’s actually doing it, either, sometimes Grouplove can mean being forced to listen to a newly-formed couple in a dorm room, or just a whole bunch of people showering together and rubbing soap on each other’s buttholes.
Next holiday: La Tomatina, where you will get squished up against innumerable strangers and get all gross and covered in gunk and sweaty too. Ps this is not an invitation for you to go into Tomatina and get all gropey (looking at you fellas), just saying that being jammed in a small space with a bunch of moist strangers is kind of like a pants-on orgy. Please, always leave your pants on in La Tomatina.
Coming in from behind like our friends in the animal kingdom is a great way to make sex if you or your partner has a big belly. If the person below has a big belly it’ll just kind of swing there unnoticed, and if the person above has a big belly they can just sit it up there on the sexy shelf like a pie cooling on the windowsill.
Next holiday: Oktoberfest or Springfest! The place where more bellies get together this side of Walmart, but not to be judged, but admired and praised. Hide your gut under your lederhosen and let prospective partners rub it for good luck.
Getting freaky in the great outdoors with the wind in your pubic hair and the sun on your backside is one way to get closer to the universe. Hey there, little ant family, look at me going for it with my sex partner over here. Having sex outdoors is special, it’s adventurous, because strangers lurk outside, and you have to deal with weather and climate unlike indoors. When you have sex outdoors impress your partner by imitating wild animal noises. Howl at the moon, growl like a bear, or spit water around like a whale.
Next holiday: Ibiza Beach Camp! The sun is a