Say sayonara to summer’s shenanigans in style It doesn’t matter if you call the season autumn or fall, all that matters is that it starts in Europe on Sunday September…
Three Reasons Why Morocco is Safer and Better than Europe
Because cous-cous and camels weren’t enough to get you clicking
Has this cold snap seen the Euro winter sneak up on you? Stuck with plans for tomorrow, next week, later in the year? Look no further than our winter home-away-from-home, the Kingdom of Morocco, a short and cheap hop-and-a-skip across the Med, from Europe and into North Africa.
1. It’s safer than wearing two condoms
Tourist dollars have the power to help economies bloom like flowers in the springtime. A whopping 18.7% of Morocco’s GDP came from the tourism industry in 2013. Unfortunately, in these terse times of ISIS trying to intimidate everyone and politicians such as Trump trying to antagonise everyone, travelling can seem a little risky and the timid among the intrepid are choosing to stay at home, having an unpleasant impact on tourism industries around the world. Those who do leave home understandably want to stay within their comfort zones – zones that probably don’t extend to Islamic nations in Northern Africa. They say ignorance is bliss, but ignorance is also a little dangerous. Morocco hasn’t had a terrorist attack since 2011, while European countries including France, Germany and Turkey have experienced several in 2016 alone, making Morocco the smarter choice for those worried about what seems to be the world’s impending death-by-terrorists-and-governments.
And while Morocco is an Islamic nation, it ain’t dry and it ain’t no Saudi Arabia. Although alcohol isn’t widely sold or available, and drinking in public is frowned upon, it can be purchased in some restaurants, bars and shops and you won’t be getting lashes with the cat-o’-nine-tails for drinking it. Want proof? Famous people like it. Posh and Becks renewed their wedding vows in Marrakech and came back to celebrate Davey’s 40th, while fellow Brit Lily Allen took a selfie-filled holiday there in late 2015. The Mawazine festival in Rabat brought hot-90s-singers JLo and Usher out of retirement to perform, and Cristiano Ronaldo regularly flies to Morocco to hang out with his kickboxing champ buddy Badr Hari. If it’s safe enough for the world’s richest athlete, it’s safe enough for you. It’s especially safe at our sleepy seaside Surf Palace in Taghazout, 30 minutes from Agadir airport.
2. It’s warmer than where you are
You had to put on a jumper before 5pm yesterday and the act filled you with nostalgia for those steamy days of your fading Euro summer trip: literally the best 3 months out of all your 252 months on this earth. Don’t try to maintain that tan in the concrete jungles of the European mainland, your inappropriate nudity and cold nipples will all be in vain. Jump on a budget airline, cross the 13 kilometres of Gibraltar straits and step off the plane into the balmy airs of Morocco, where the average daytime temperature in October is 20-26 degrees celsius, with occasional spikes into the 30s. As we write this it is 20 degrees and stormy in Barcelona, yet 32 degrees and sunny in Agadir. Why isn’t our office in Agadir? Because we’re fucking stupid. And what with all this global warming, things can only get better.
3. More activities than a big bedroom with plenty of space for activities
Months of hedonism left you feeling a little fat and depressed? Take it all back in Taghazout – your rig, your mental health, your sleep targets, your tan, and your pretences of cultural appreciation. Spend your days surfing (or flirting with your babin’ Stoke surf instructor), doing yoga on the beach, reading, sunbaking, cliff-jumping in Paradise Valley, riding camels, riding each other, bathing in the hammam and winding through the (literally) spicy (metaphoric) mountains of the souk. Your stay (week? weekend? whatever you like!) will include accommodation in our water’s edge Surf Palace, meaning you’ll fall asleep and wake up to panoramic views of the Atlantic and the Sahara. Could you afford such a view in Europe? No, you couldn’t. Get your mojo back in Morocco, the perfect note on which to end your best summer evah.
For a look at Stoke’s location, accommodation and general good time in Morocco, check out @stoketravel on the ‘Gram.
For example – if travelling to a hot climate, invest in a heavy pair of denim overalls, because there’s no better way to impress new friends and keep your temperament down then by sweating more than a nun at a cucumber stall.
BARCELONA, SPAIN: after listening to our customers and taking their concerns seriously, Stoke Travel has announced plans to be clown-free within three years.
So much shit! Strap yourself in… This may be the first semi-coherent Booze Letter since Oktoberfest, the organised deterioration of brain cells that we enthusiastically submit ourselves to every year….
Dry your eyes, home bound travellers. Can’t you see your cup is half full?
The notoriously poor travel company declares that it don’t want his stinkin’ money