BREAKING: Facebook Doesn’t Like It When We Swear, The Firetrucking Sea Hunts
It has been revealed that much of Stoke Travel’s groundbreaking news and current affairs content isn’t reaching its audience due to Facebook’s restrictions on crabby language.
The content, most likely referencing patrying, booze sex, drugs or an awesome combination of the bunch, has reached only a fraction of Stoke Travel’s audience, likely due to the social media platform’s puritanical guidelines.
“It’s absolute balderdash,” typed an indignant content creator, “if we want to mother trucking swear like sailors then these dingleberries should let us. All of our travellers are adults! If they’re old enough to vote, to go and fight in wars, and to have multiple children to as many partners, then they’re old enough to bear witness to some swear words. This is bullspit.”
But Heidi Rogers, from Stoke Travel’s marketing team, had a different opinion. “We’ve been telling these jerk offs this for ages. They think they’re so cool and edgy because they swear, but nobody even sees their articles because of it. What we’re suggesting is that they tone down the naughty words a little and create some content that can get shared around our network. Swearing for swearing’s sake is lazy, as is relying on low-hanging ‘edgy’ content related to partying to grab the audience’s attention.”
Despite these quite reasonable requests, the lazy content team has remained defiant. “Gadzooks! What are we going to start writing about? Top 10 Greek Islands to see this summer? How to pack a backpack in three easy steps? The hottest Spanish fiestas… actually, those ideas are pretty good. Let’s spin them Stoke style though. Top 10 Greek Islands to get lucky at. How to pack light so you’ve got more space for vodka. How to be the hottest person at Spanish fiestas.
“How we’re going to get these ideas across to the audience without swearing has got me completely flipping stumped. How can we get across the idea that we’re cooler than the other travel companies without using colourful language? How can we let people know that we’re ok with travellers inhaling the devil’s lettuce or even swallowing some disco biscuits? Or that if you travel with us there’s a higher chance of you knocking boots than if you travelled with literally anybody else?”
But Rogers was unapoltagetic, telling the content team to, “Just stop fucken swearing you lazy arseholes.”
If you want to have the most fun possible, to get crapulously sozzled amongst like-minded spunk rats from around the globe and maybe roast the broomstick with them, then join Stoke Travel this summer. Heck, get yourself a darn Stoke Travel Passport, because as we say, “Fiddlesticks to plans, follow your heart.”