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Five Reasons Andalucia Is The “Real” Spain
What do you think of when you hear “Spain”? Hot, steamy siesta weather, flamenco, tapas, bullfighting, drinks on the beach. You’re not going to get that in the north (they banned bullfighting in many parts, for starters). Take those stereotypes and validate them by going to the south of Spain. In Andalucía there’s no steady drizzle. When it rains, it pours, and the next day it’s guaranteed to be sunny again. No joke. This is important for beach going – I mean yeah, sure they have beaches up north near towns like San Sebastian, but it’s only warm for three months of the year, and even then it’s more likely to be rainy than not. To get the authentic experience you’ve got to go south. When you get home you won’t regret it, and it’s always more impressive to reference a place that nobody’s ever heard of – for kitesurfing go to Bolonia (despite being relatively unknown it’s ranked as the best beach in Spain, and 10th in the world), for surfing go to Cabo Roche/El Palmar/Punta Palomas (from the line up you can see Morocco), and to rave go to Chipiona.
You can’t claim fluency in Spanish until you understand the Andalucía accent. In fact, to be a Stoke Travel ambassador you have to pass the following test, which we invite you to try. Drink at least cuatro vino tintos (or sherry if you’re brave). This should give you un poco extra confidence, and can be done at 10 in the morning before you hit up the local churreria, or while you’re out at night. Now all you have to do is start a convo with a Spaniard, and when they respond with rapid fire, hot, southern enthusiasm (because you’ve learned our pick up lines so well they thought you were a native) you just have to avoid ending up with toa la cara partia (crestfallen sounds better in Spanish – with all the face broken). If you can do this you’re hired…
As we’re feeling generous, here’s some novelty Andalucía slang to impress that chica/chico you’re now (thanks to us) definitely going to hook up with.
Que malaje tienes (try anywhere) – what a bad angel you have, i.e. You’re realllly mean – use this one flirtatiously.
Yo hablo espanol jodidamente bien (try anywhere – pronounce the ‘j’ like an ‘h’) – I speak Spanish really fucking well – a good one to use ironically…
¿Que pasa pare? (only in Sanlucar, – pronounce the ‘r’ like a d) – what’s up?
¿Que pasa pisha? (only in Jerez/Cadiz) – what’s up?
¿Que pasa mi alma? (only in Seville) – what’s up?
Taqueao con toa la cara partia pare (only in Sanlucar/Jerez) – you’ve ended up with all the face broken, buddy. Kinda random but it always gets a laugh cos they don’t expect foreigners to know this type of slang.
Tomatiiico en tajaiiiicas – sliced tomato… doesn’t mean much but they love it. Basically just add a long, drawn out ‘ico’ or ‘ica’ onto the end of any word and you’ll pass for an Almeria local.
If you want to tapear this is the place to be. Andalucía is the only region of Spain with places that still give you free tapas with every drink you buy. Also, they have the best patatas bravas in the land. Hot, orange, spicy goodness – like having a wild toro bravo in your mouth.
Nowhere else in Spain can you get so drunk on good vino, for such a good price. Check out the Bodegas in Jerez de la Frontera or hit up La Dama Juana (coolest bar out). Jerez is one of the biggest wine and sherry producers in the world so it’s a great place to train yourself up before coming on a Stoke Travel trip and taking advantage of the unlimited beer and sangria.
Morocco is only a daytrip (or a weekend bender gone wrong) away from Andalucia. From Tarifa you can get a ferry over to Tangier in half an hour, escape the northern hemisphere winter, and then get barrelled out of your mind on perfect, empty right handers. Accommodation is way cheaper than Europe too.