Four Reasons You Should Never Travel With Friends
After running millions of surfaris through northern Spain and southern France, festival trips to La Tomatina, Pamplona, and Oktoberfest, and (only thousands) of weekend getaways to Andorra, here at Stoke, if nothing else, we’re qualified to give advice on group travel. So today, to kick off a fresh series of mind boggling #travelhacks, we thought we’d compile a list of all the reasons it totally sucks to travel with friends…
Stinginess: Yeah, you might have saved yourselves 100€ by booking an apartment as a group, but after that it’s every man for himself. There’s always someone who is conveniently oblivious to the costs others might incur, which go towards the group, but will be 110% switched on about any money they have spent. Not hard to spot, these people are likely to be found walking around after dinner rattling a jar under everyone’s nose until they pay up the 36 cents they owe for the 2€ bottle of wine they bought to ‘share’.
Stoke top tip — just don’t invite the tightwads, because if you try and even out the playing field and start charging ‘em what they owe you (which you were happy to leave as favors, until they starting rattlin’ tins around the place), things will descend into a petty pit of madness and you’ll become the very thing you hate…
Logistics: Ben’s bae doesn’t want him to go, Bethany only wants to go to Barcelona and Brian wants to hit up Bangladesh for a couple of days, even though this was supposed to be a quiet camping holiday in the south of France. Also, you’re wondering why you’re only friends with people whose names begin with B…
Stoke top tip — run while you still can, life’s too short to accede to Betty, Bill, Balthazar and Babushka Boris’ diverse desires.
Meeting People: When you’re part of a group, your odds of scoring with the sultry eyes across the bar automatically decrease by 180%. This is in no small part because sexy eyes are rarely on the lookout for ten-strong groups of dudes doing tabletop ‘shoeys’ and yelling incoherently. Trust me, we’ve been researching this for years. If the ‘tabletop shoey’ ever works we’ll let you know. Still doubt us? Check out our article on pillow talk — this should make you realise it’s not worth the risk. The rewards are simply too great. Travel alone and you’ll be the mysterious set of eyes. Pillow crooning time awaits…
Meeting People pt Two: If you travel with a group of friends, not only will your capacity to attract the opposite sex be diminished, but you’re going to lack motivation to meet anyone new. When you’ve got Darren from the footy club telling you thrilling tales about how he got wasted at the RSL, like, two nights in a row, why would you ever want to leave the grotty spare room (advertised as a studio apartment) packed with 12 bunk beds smelling like sweat, shame and booze.
Stoke top tip — tell your comfort zone to fuck off (get drunk), go out, have fun, escape the group for a bit and make some new friends – #tooeasy.
If you’re still confused about who you should travel with; or where, when and why you should scratch those itchy feet, check out the (pretty well) limitless options available to you with our new and improved Stoke Passport. And don’t forget to hit us up in the comments and tell us why you love (or hate) our unsubstantiated opinions.
Until next time,