NO SHIT: Traveller Doing Nice Things In Europe
It has been revealed by a series of social media posts that Natasha Beckinsale, 23, has been doing some pretty nice things while travelling in Europe.
The surprising news was first revealed when, in the airport waiting for her flight to the continent, she treated herself to an overpriced glass of white wine. Plenty more of this where I’m going, she quasi-cryptically quipped to her 460 followers, who were painfully aware of where she was going due to the last eight months essentially being a countdown to her three week Euro jaunt.
Since then Beckinsale’s followers have been treated to a steady deluge of nice things, with casual observers noting that she is spending most her time away either near crystal clear azure waters, leaning on whitewashed walls, or standing awkwardly in pot plant laden laneways. She also seems to spend most of her city time walking past cute street art, or drinking coffee out of tiny mugs.
According to her self-curated feed, the young traveller is sustaining herself almost exclusively with gourmet snack food – thinly sliced ham, olives and cheese mostly – or acai bowls. She also seems to be consuming a worrying amount of wine, going well over the one glass a day that is recommended by almost every health organisation in the world. Nevertheless, despite giving the impression that she is a problem drinker, Beckinsale does seem to be having a nice time while doing it.
Much of the time Beckinsale’s indulgence in nicety runs contrary to the situation of the country she finds herself in. While Greece was mourning up to 80 dead in forest fires, Beckinsale was declaring that Santorini has stolen [her] heart, and a post next to the Eiffel Tour that identified her Gypsy soul, failed to mention the 76 Roma beggars she’d ignored that morning who suffer the term “gypsy” as a racial slur.
She’s also managed to do nice things in a diverse array of locations and with various experiences. In the space of a week the pescetarian had run with bulls, or at the very least posed in the clothes the bull runners wear, and floated on a big, pink, inflatable flamingo in the Mediterranean, mountain the plastic pool toy while vocally supporting a supermarket chain’s decision to phase plastic bags out of their stores.
The posting schedule seems to be having the desired effect, with Beckinsale’s friends and family back home in Australia acutely aware of the nice time their intrepid peer is having. “Yeah we get it, it’s fucken nice over there,” said Beckinsale’s it’s complicated partner, Jeremy Sims, 28. “I dunno, I’m stuck here up to my elbows in human waste, feeding her bank account when the fortnightly fund requests come in from her, and I’m forced to sit through a non-stop stream of her drinking beachside cocktails with slimy European blokes in speedos. It’s fucked.”
At the time of publication Beckinsale was leading somebody by the hand to yet another European port, where her Instagram story would confirm she’s eating sardines and drinking white wine. Sims was not as concerned for her cholesterol levels following her overindulgence in the oil and fat heavy Mediterranean diet, as he was about “That fella taking photos of her. Who the fuck is he?”