Semester Studying Abroad Qualifies Uni Student as Cultural Expert
The office of the U.S. ambassador to Spain reported Thursday that they were considering 20-year-old University of Texas student Carter Cormann for a cultural attaché position. “As far as we’re concerned, Cormann’s five months in Barcelona have totally qualified him to consult on sensitive cross-cultural issues at home and abroad,” a representative told Stoke News.
Stoke reached out to Cormann for comment on his apparent mastery of the Spanish way of life. “When I was in Spain, I really got to know the people,” he said. “I spent a lot of time drinking cerveza and eating tapas with mis amigos.”
Stating they were unbothered by Cormann’s lack of degree and political experience, the office of the ambassador emphasized how much the young excursionist had impressed them during an extensive interview process.
“We’re technically required to spend months completing background checks, verifying qualifications and vetting references before we hire anybody,” said a source close to the Ambassador. “But from the first time Cormann said ‘When I was in Barthelona..,” I think we were all convinced.”
While it was apparent that he had a strong command of Spanish linguistics, the savvy student shattered any reservations still held by the hiring committee with a deep understanding of tense political issues.
One diplomat told Stoke that, although officially the U.S. supports a unified Spain, Cormann’s passionate summary of the Catalan independence movement had him close to tears.
“I really understand how the Catalan people feel,” Cormann told Stoke. “They’re stuck in something that they really want to leave, which is how I felt in pretty much all my classes.” What’s more, although based in Barcelona, Cormann insisted that his weekend trips to Valencia, Sevilla and Madrid gave him license to comment on Spain as a whole.
“It’s clear to me that [Cormann] is very dedicated to representing Spanish ideals,” said an embassy official. “We took him out to dinner to officially offer the position, and he insisted we change our reservation to 9 p.m. at the earliest.”
At press time, the juvenile connoisseur had not yet accepted the offer, saying “I want to look around at all my options first. The embassy won’t even give me an hour for siesta!”