Posh Festival-Goer Turns Great Outdoorswoman
First time glamper and Springfest attendee Hannah Twomley returned home to the UK Monday, surprising friends and family with a newfound fondness of the great outdoors.
“I almost didn’t recognize her,” said long-time friend Stephan Casey. “She hadn’t washed her hair, and on the ride from the airport I don’t think she complained even once.”
Admittedly a novice at camping, Twomley told Stoke she was apprehensive about the trip before she arrived. “Normally you’d never catch me dead in some hippie’s teepee,” Twomley said, “but something just came over me.”
Tanya Foust, Twomley’s travelling companion at Springfest, reported her apprehension at the start of the trip. “We got there and immediately I’m like, ‘Oh god, what have I subjected myself to?’” Foust said. “[Twomley] got to the tent and starting plugging things into the included outlets, testing the wifi, and I was just holding my breath.”
But to Foust’s surprise, the outrage never came.
“Even though there was only one full-length mirror, and the bedding included with our elevated mattresses was only, like, 300 thread count, she didn’t seem to be freaking out at all.”
“When they showed us around the campsite, sure, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to make it,” Twomley told friends back home. “I mean, after all, there was only one bar, a shop, a cafe, a food cart, and a few dozen hot showers. But they handed me a drink when I turned up, and for whatever reason, I realized I didn’t even care that it was in a plastic cup!”
In fact, Twomley’s self-described out-of-body experience lasted for the rest of the trip. People who met her described the normally-neurotic traveler as “fun,” “easy-going,” and “a girl who really knows how to party.”
When asked about the apparent 180° turn her personality took, Twomley told Stoke she was as surprised as everybody else. “I don’t know, really. At first I thought I was possessed or something, but I guess I had it in me all along.”
“The first day or two, I thought she was just being really brave about the hundreds of people partying, getting naked, and just generally making a huge mess, but eventually I realized she was genuinely enjoying herself,” said Foust.
“I sort of feel like a different person now,” Twomley said in the aftermath of the festival, her voice hoarse and twinged with pride. “Like, I’m a lot tougher than I knew. The old me would have sooner died than drunk a shoey, but after my first five or six, I felt like I could do anything!”
When asked for a comment, representatives at Stoke said, “Who? Oh, that girl with her knickers over her face? Yeah, she was wild.”
If you’re trying to see some of Europe’s best festivals, but can’t be bothered to rough it with the plebeians, check out our glorious glamping palaces available for Springfest, Oktoberfest, The Running of the Bulls, and our beach camps in Zarautz and Ibiza.