Contact Us

























Beginner Surfer Convinces Land Locked Friends That He’s Hot Stuff In The Water

Stokepedia

Posted by Stoke Media Team
2 years ago | February 20, 2018

Beginner Surfer Convinces Land Locked Friends That He’s Hot Stuff In The Water

Novice surfer, Peter Cooley, 26, has returned from a second stint at surf camp and is attempting to pass himself off as a big deal in the waves.

Cooley’s friend, Tom Jenkins, explains. “It started off innocent enough. He had a bit of a tan and his hair was lighter (we suspected he was squeezing lemon juice in it), but then he started wearing nothing but Hawaiian shirts, and this weird pukka shell necklace, so we knew he was trying to tell us something, you know? Then we were down the pub and some surfing came on the news, a contest in Hawaii or something, and the waves looked big and dangerous, and Pete starts calling the waves ‘sick’, talking about how he ‘misses getting pitted’ and how if he was there he would have ‘gotten shacked out of his mind’. I mean, I don’t know anything about surfing, but the guy’s surfed for two weeks total, max, in his entire life.”

It would appear that not only was Cooley trying to deceive his friends who had yet to surf with his talking up of his prowess, but it seemed like he’d almost believed it himself. “I mean, we love the guy so of course we called him on it,” continued Jenkins, “but he was sticking to his story. It’s like he really believed that he was capable of conquering the world’s most dangerous waves after a grand total of 20 hours learning the sport. At one point the news showed a particularly painful looking fall, and Pete started calling the guy a ‘kook’ and insisting that he would have ‘pig dogged’ his way through that wave. What even is a pig dog, I mean, to do with surfing?”

Cooley’s parents spoke of their son returning a stranger, a guy who spoke of having “saltwater in his veins” and who was found face down in the bathtub, only to be furious when his father pulled him out. “Petey said, ‘What are you doing Dad, you barney? I’m training to hold my breath for when the surf gets maxxed out,’ and in my bloody tub, no less!” said his mother, who was more confused than distraught.

We asked the younger Cooley about his newfound status as a shredlord and can confirm that it is worse than it previously anybody had anticipated. “Ah man, those kooks just don’t get it,” he complained. “Once you’ve been in the green room everything changes, bro. It’s like, you’re at one with nature, just standing there in mother nature’s womb, man. It’s so sick. I don’t feel myself anymore unless I’m near the ocean. I need to hear the roar of waves smashing on the sand to get to sleep and now I know that a bad day surfing is better than the best day working.

“My friends do drugs, but not me man, surfing is my drug and just thinking about it makes me off my face!”, he claims, in a terribly cringeworthy statement that will doubtlessly offer his parents a reason to feel releived.

We asked if that meant he’d be leaving his job and taking up surfing fulltime, but Cooley was ddismissive, because, “Ah, my boss just made me shift supervisor, man, so it’s such a good opportunity for me, plus i’m making another $50 a month now, so that will go straight into my tube fund. He’s told me to stop asking customers how the waves were, because I guess we are eight hours from the nearest coastline and they probably just want to get a barbeque chicken and get out of here, but you never know. There’s nothing sicker than meeting a fellow surfer and chatting about the swell, you know?”

Staff at the surf camp refused to confirm Cooley’s skill level in the surf, saying only that he was a “good guy,” but admitting that he was also “a bit of a frother,” and sometimes that can be somewhat of a “bummer”.

Do you want to be a red-hot surfer but have maybe left your run a little late? Never fear, the Stoke Travel San Sebastian Surf Camp is great for all levels of surfer, so even first timers can get photographic proof that they are now masters of the waves.

Related Trips
4th of July Party Featuring Dune Rats
Spain
Stoke Summer Camp
Europe
Semana Grande San Sebastián
Europe
Les Fêtes de Bayonne
Europe
Running of the Bulls
Spain
San Vino Wine Fight Festival
Europe
Van Surfari Spain & France
Europe
Zarautz Surf Day Trip
Europe
Zarautz Beachside Surf Camp
Zarautz
San Sebastian Surf House
Europe
Related Articles
What to Pack for a European Summer with Stoke

Your European summer has finally arrived.  Like the absolute sesh savage you are, you’ve booked a few of Stoke’s epic summer packages.  Your suitcase is already stuffed with your cheekiest…

Read More

Introducing Stoke Summer Camps: A Playground for Adults

“This one time… at Stoke Summer camp…” How does the rest of that line go? Yes! Stoke Travel bring you it’s own version of summer camps – like the band…

Read More

Stoke Travel Trips For Solo Travellers

  You’re never alone when you’re a Stokie Travel alone they said. It’s the only way to really explore and grow and get to know the place you’re visiting and…

Read More

Last Minute Checklist For Summer 2019

A helping hand from Stoke to make sure you’re prepared for what this summer has in store. JOSEPHINE RYAN MURPHY Summer really is finally, almost here. Flights have been booked,…

Read More

The Chosen One Does: San Sebastian Surf Camp

Every year Stoke Travel chooses a Chosen One, a lucky legend who travels with us all summer long with the mission to simply have as much fun as possible, help…

Read More

REPORT: San Sebastian Surf Camp Actually In Real House

Reports have come out of San Sebastian, in Spain’s Basque Country, claiming that Stoke Travel’s Surf Camp there isn’t in tents, but in a real-life house with really real beds….

Read More

Art Vs Science To Play World’s Best City

Art Vs Science playing San Sebastian’s Dabadaba club, July 4th, doors open at 9pm Supported by Honey Hayze (Australia), La Redada (Mexico), with DJ Semichub playing B2B with Houseconcowbell (Maroubra)…

Read More

Why You Should Go To Zarautz Beach Camp

We spend a lot of time singing the praises of the San Sebastian Surf House, and rightfully so because it is amazing, but let us tell you a thing or…

Read More

Europe’s Lesser Known Music Festivals

Primavera Sounds music festival was on in Barcelona over the weekend and half the Stoke Travel office is coming down and the other half is still high – on music!…

Read More

San Sebastian Surf House Named Europe’s Chillest Place to Hang

A new study published by the European Council of Hanging Out (ECHO) has named Stoke Travel’s San Sebastian Surf House the “Chillest Place in Europe.”  After extensive research into the…

Read More

San Sebastian Surf Camp Yoga

Have you heard that the San Sebastian Surf Camp offers yoga? There’s guided yoga every day as a part of our basic package (it’s included along with your surf lessons,…

Read More

Learn To Surf With Stoke Travel

We spend a lot of time singing the virtues of the San Sebastian Surf Camp – the real house with real beds, the daily yoga routines, and so on –…

Read More

Search Stoke Travel Search by Trip, Destination, Month...