Contact Us




























    BREAKING: Stoke Travel Bans Donald Trump From All Future Events

    Stokepedia

    Posted by Stoke Media Team
    6 years ago | October 13, 2016

    BREAKING: Stoke Travel Bans Donald Trump From All Future Events

    The notoriously poor travel company declares that it don’t want his stinkin’ money

    BARCELONA, SPAIN

    In an unprecedented move, Stoke Travel has banned Donald Trump from all future Stoke Travel events and destinations. Never in the decade that Stoke Travel has operated have we felt the need to ban an individual from all of our products, but Donald Trump is so relentless in his fuckwittery that we found we had no other option.

    Stoke Travel’s chairman of the board, Wade Gravy, explains. “Look, we’re not seppos, so we’re unable to vote in the upcoming presidential election, but we really felt like we had to participate somehow in this unholy shitshow.

    “So we’re going to hit The Donald where it hurts him and ban him for life from all future Stoke Travel events – including Barcelona boat parties, Stoketoberfest, Moroccan Magic Week – the whole fucken shebang.

    “We just couldn’t take his bullshit anymore. From even before this presidential run we were sure that the guy was a complete fuckwit, what with his tiny mouth and baby hands, his fake tan and even faker hairpiece, but then he started to dominate the news cycle with one ‘can you believe this cunt?’ story after another. It’s been relentless. Never has the world been gifted such an utter fucknuckle, and to be frank this breed of pelican is not welcome at Stoke Travel.

    “We try to provide arsehole-free events for people, spaces where even the most miserable ballbags can come and have a fun time, and we’re afraid that Trump would completely destroy everything we’ve worked towards.

    “Can you imagine him, groping all of the female guests and getting into puerile pissing contests with everybody. Nobody beerbongs like I do. Nobody wants to, you goddamn cheese-beanie, you tipped half the bastard out, and it’s probably half lemonade, you pothole.

    “Stoke has long prided itself on being a truly international company, run mostly by Australians. We welcome people from all over the world, and due to many of our guests having dubious relationships with their tourist visas, we believe in building bridges, not walls.

    “So yeah, Trump isn’t welcome, and any Stoke Travel trips that may have been booked by Trump will be cancelled without refund. He keeps on bragging about how rich he is, so thanks for the donation, pal.”

    Donald Trump wasn’t approached for comment, but would probably blame the Clintons, Mexicans, Muslims, blacks, gays, Republicans, poor people, women, the media, or anyone but himself, for having the dishonour of being the first person banned from a travel company that is literally desperate for more guests.

     


    Tagged with: , , , , , ,

    Related Trips
    Glamping
    Europe
    Springfest 2023
    Germany
    Morocco Surf Camp
    Africa
    Oktoberfest 2022
    Germany
    Related Articles
    Munich’s Oktoberfest ON for 2022

    Oktoberfest is happening this year! And we’re offering you FREE BEER! Just book any Stoke Travel accommodation package  and use the promo code FREEBEER at the last booking step to…

    Read More

    Coming Out Of The Pandemic

    The “Roaring 20s” start in 2022! Wasn’t that a pile of bullshit? Coming seemingly out of nowhere in March 2020 (we were turned back from the Andorra border with a…

    Read More

    Let’s Talk Rebrands: An Open Letter From Gravy, Stoke Travel CMO

    This feels like a terribly self-indulgent thing for me to do – you know, who cares about what the piddling CMO from a middling youth travel company has to say…

    Read More

    Reasons to come to Munich for Stoketoberfest

    After two years of cancellations, Oktoberfest is BACK ON in Munich for 2022. Book your space now with a risk-free €1 deposit. This event WILL SELL OUT. There’s a lot…

    Read More

    Oktoberfest 2021 Is Cancelled

    In news that is sure to break the hearts of beer lovers, festival hounds, and travellers of all stripes, Munich’s lord mayor Dieter Reiter, and Barvaria’s prime minister Marcus Söder…

    Read More

    Five Reasons Why The Stoke App Will Make Travelling Europe Wonderful

    Maybe you’ve heard, perhaps you haven’t, but Stoke Travel has made an app! Rather than let the pandemic and dissolving of youth travel kill our momentum, we decided to use…

    Read More

    BREAKING: Oktoberfest Boss Says 2022 Event Is ON!

    Oktoberfest is happening this year! And we’re offering you ONE NIGHT FREE! Just book an “Oktoberfest Weekender” or an “Ultimate Oktoberfest Adventure” and use the promo code STOKETOBERFEST2022 at the…

    Read More

    Free Springfest For Teachers

    To celebrate teacher’s day, and to say thank you to all the educators putting themselves in harm’s way so the kids can continue their education, we’re offering a completely free…

    Read More

    Can You Do Drugs At Oktoberfest? 

    While we don’t recommend doing drugs at Oktoberfest, we do recommend having as much fun as is physically possible, and to help with that we’re opening our bar to you…

    Read More

    How To Do Oktoberfest On A Budget

    We know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking that we’re just going to say, Camping with Stoke Travel at Oktoberfest is the best budget option, and you’re right, we could say…

    Read More

    How to travel to Oktoberfest from around Europe

    For a guide on how to get to Oktoberfest from within Munich, you’re going to want to read this. Getting to Oktoberfest is easy from anywhere in Europe. Munich has…

    Read More

    Travelling To Oktoberfest Alone

    Six reasons why a solo trip to Munich’s Oktoberfest is an awesome idea. It’s on your bucket list, but for some reason you can’t convince the homies to join you…

    Read More

    Search Stoke Travel Search by Trip, Destination, Month...