Contact Us




























    La Tomatina in 24 hours

    Stokepedia

    Posted by Stoke Media Team
    5 years ago | September 6, 2016

    La Tomatina in 24 hours

    If you’re anything like us you probably left your La Tomatina booking to the last minute. Like, literally the day before the festival. You probably frantically looked up train tickets to Valencia and found out, to your dismay, that they were forty euros and that every campsite within reasonable distance to Bunol was full of forward-thinking travellers and Spanish families. Your dreams of slathering yourself in tomatoes were slipping faster than your nipples that time you tried to go braless to a rave.   

    Enter the 24 hour Stoke Bender bus. A La Tomatina quickie if you will, complete with seedy orifices.

    3am:

    You’re standing outside the Hard Rock Cafe in Placa Catalunya, your designated meeting point. The delicious smells of street samosas fill your nostrils, blocking out the smell of urine wafting from Las Ramblas. You cave, although spicy food before a bus trip seems a little risky. Those vendors can be damn convincing. You work out which charismatic babe (the Canadian? The Australian? The Dutchie? The Kiwi pretending to be French?!) is guiding your bus and get your “wristie”. You’re Stoke’s now. There won’t be a piss-stop for well over an hour. If you get desperate, our guides recommend pissing into an empty sangria bottle in the stairwell of the bus. Ladies, we won’t be offended if you use a rolled-up Stoke mag as a funnel. True story.  

    4:30am:

    You make your first stop at an enormous cafeteria in the middle of nowhere. What will you choose, a vino blanco or a chocolate croissant? The hardest decision will be to decide if you want to have coffee to stay awake or to pass and pass out. You find out that they’re playing Borat on the bus. You take the coffee. Double shot. Tip: Steal some toilet paper and stuff it into whatever space is available on your person, you won’t find any in the La Tom portaloos.

    10am:

    Bunol! Hooray! You all pile off the bus. Ensure you’re wearing clothes you don’t like (cos if you like ‘em now, you soon won’t). You follow your guides down the road until you come to the Stoke “pop-up sangria bar”. This is essentially a van where the one-litre cartons of sangria are distributed. If you’re looking a little too clean, the Stokies will be more than willing to generously douse you with sangria. One of us, one of us.

    Someone, somewhere in the town is scaling a greasy pole to obtain the elusive Tomatina ham. You’ve almost drunk enough to think that you could probably do it. Just as you down the last of your sangria and let out an almighty belch, a second bang sounds. The ham has been captured and it’s time to pound some flesh (with tomatoes).  Nothing like watching people animalistically fight over a piece of meat to really get the liquids flowing.

    11am:

    A bang signals the beginning of the fight. The crowd is pulsating with the pent-up desire to let the juices run. People are craning to see the tomatoes, someone starts that weird Spanish chant that sounds like the riff from Seven Nation Army. Locals on the balconies above intermittently help moisten the tension with buckets and hoses and you’re begging for it. The distant sound of horns and cheering can mean only that the trucks filled with tomatoes are approaching. You suddenly wonder how a truck could possibly fit through the narrow street packed with people and realise too late that you’re about to be crushed like a pinger in Ibiza. Forget trying to throw the ammunition, for now you’re a slave to the tomato mosh pit. You fall and are righted. You watch a guy take a tomato to the face. The stuff is in your ears, eyes, mouth…and it keeps coming, each truck another wave. You’re laughing and screaming at once, a difficult feat when trying to prevent yourself from swallowing a mouthful of flying ‘mato.

    11:30am:

    The fight quickly steers away from from whole tomatoes seemingly falling from the sky and moves towards all out anarchy with the tomatoey slop that is slowly filling the streets. You’re using anything you can find to dump as much of the stuff on anyone near you: busted pluggers, sunglasses, ripped clothing, crushed Don Simon bottles, limbs, the last of shred of your humanity.  Just as soon you’re certain that you have swallowed more seed than a porn star, you hear another bang and the chaos subsides. You did it. You survived. But you can’t say as much for the guy who won the ham, who is passed out and spooning his treasure in the gutter.

    12:30pm:  

    You’re wandering the streets of Bunol frantically, as the tomato on every inch of your clothing begins to dry and you smell like that crusty, half-empty jar of pasta sauce that has been in your fridge for two years. You look like you just left your mother’s womb. A Spanish man is lapping up the attention his garden hose is bringing him from semi-naked, tomatoey girls on the street. You see him sneak in a kiss as they’re struggling to wash the tomato acid out of their eyes. You wonder if this is the first time his hose has ever received any female attention. You use his hose anyway. You figure a sly, wet kiss is a small price to pay to be less like a vine fruit and more like a human.  You make your way back to the Stoke bus, and get naked in the carpark. You need to change into your clean clothes or the bus driver will leave you in the carpark to dry out just like Stacey did when she found the U2 album living in her new iPhone. Stacey really dislikes U2.

    1pm:

    You find yourself back where it all began, safely on the other side of a red whirlwind even more traumatic than your first period. This where you choose your own adventure. Will you keep drinking? Will you pass out? Will you throw up enough bolognese sauce to open your own Italian restaurant? Are you game to step onboard one of Stoke’s Barcelona Boat Parties as soon as you get back?

    8pm:

    Is it Barcelona? Is it heaven? You unstick your crusty ass from the bus seat and drag one foot in front of the other, towards the ocean. Here, you fall gloriously into waves and even indulge in a mojito from the vendor on the beach. You’re just glad he isn’t selling Bloody Marys. Something catches your eye. It’s that charismatic babe who gave you your “wristie” in the wee hours of that very morning. Charismatic babe beckons towards a Stoke Travel boat moored nearby and mouths something suspiciously like beer and sangria. You’ve never been one to say no.

     

    Did you miss out this year? Join Stoke for La Tomatina 2017!


    Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

    Related Trips
    Barcelona Wine Tours And Tastings
    Barcelona
    DLG Mediterranean Experience
    Barcelona
    Poble De Los Freaks | La Terrrazza Club
    Barcelona
    Barcelona Nightlife
    Europe
    Barcelona Super Bowl Party 2021
    Barcelona
    Barcelona Cocktail Class
    Barcelona
    The Spanish
    Spain
    Barcelona City Break 2020
    Spain
    Barcelona Boat Party
    Barcelona
    Barcelona Costa Brava Beach Camp
    Costa Brava
    Barcelona Bike Tour
    Europe
    Barcelona Cooking Class
    Europe
    Related Articles
    Five Reasons Why The Stoke App Will Make Travelling Europe Wonderful

    Maybe you’ve heard, perhaps you haven’t, but Stoke Travel has made an app! Rather than let the pandemic and dissolving of youth travel kill our momentum, we decided to use…

    Read More

    Surviving Lockdown in Barcelona

    10 Tips to keep you sane during Barcelona Lockdown  So whilst bars and restaurants and our usual indulgent spots may be closed for the foreseeable future, here’s some survival tips…

    Read More

    Wearing Party Masks Is The Right Thing To Do

    But that doesn’t mean they have to be boring! Let’s conquer COVID and protect our communities with Stoke Threads party masks, while showing the world that no matter how messed…

    Read More

    A New Normal For Barcelona Boat Parties

    Barcelona Boat Parties are back on for 2020! We’re operating according to COVID-19 regulations in the new normal, and partying on a boat is one of the few things we’re…

    Read More

    The Best Places To Eat Paella In Barcelona

    By K.P. our resident food critic Paella is one of Spain’s national joys (as you probably know) and is hands down the one dish you HAVE to wrap your mouth…

    Read More

    Best Tapas In Barcelona

    By KP, our resident food critic Now we’re talking, good old authentic tapas, shared plates of deliciousness – Spanish specialities done in Barcelona with a particularly Catalan flair. These little…

    Read More

    The Best Brunch In Barcelona

    By KP, our resident food critic Surely you know that StokeTravel do a bottomless brunch with unlimited mimosas at all of our destinations, because we know that nothing beats a…

    Read More

    Which European festivals and events have been cancelled due to coronavirus? 

    An updating list of the music and cultural festivals, and sporting events, across Europe that have been cancelled, postponed, or rescheduled in 2020 due to COVID-19, and those that remain…

    Read More

    Best Coffee Spots In Barcelona

    By KP, our resident food critic Us Stokies know good coffee (comes with being so regularly hungover/busy), and while Spain has always had a coffee drinking culture of some sort,…

    Read More

    Best Burgers In Barcelona

    By KP, our resident foodie Up there with kebabs and curries as the ultimate hangover food, there’s nothing quite like chewing away the previous night’s sins – or doubling down…

    Read More

    Best Italian Food In Barcelona

    By KP, our resident food critic Italian food is a classic favourite amongst the masses. To be fair, I don’t think I have ever met a soul that didn’t enjoy…

    Read More

    How to stay in touch with friends and family back home while abroad 

    As you begin your study abroad experience you may find it difficult to keep in touch with the people back home, and that’s understandable. Busy travel and school schedules mixed…

    Read More

    Search Stoke Travel Search by Trip, Destination, Month...