Contact Us
























The Drugs You Won’t Take In Ibiza ;)

Stokepedia

Posted by Stoke Media Team
4 months ago | December 17, 2018

The Drugs You Won’t Take In Ibiza ;)

Look, let’s be honest. Ibiza is a beautiful island with crystal-clear/azure waters and eyeball-melting mountains, cliffs and countryside. It’s full of nice restaurants, cafes, castles and the most beautiful people your b-division eyes have ever had the pleasure of feasting on.

Ibiza is also a place where parties happen non-stop, 24/7 from now until September, and most of those parties feature some form of electronic music, repetitive beats, you know what we’re saying chew-your-face-off kinda music. You know what we’re saying.

That drugs make this kind of music great! Or maybe better, but at least bearable. Only the hardest of core of electronic music fans will listen to electronic music completely sober, sitting in the car, on their way to do the shopping. The rest of us only listen to it when we’re either a) fucked up, or b) watching one of those “People Are Awesome” compilation videos.

But you’re not going to take drugs in Ibiza! Nope, no way, because you’ve read the pamphlets and listened to the priestesses and you know that drugs are bad. You’re not going to take drugs in Ibiza because despite Stoke Travel’s “don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t hurt yourself” policy towards partying, you’re a responsible young traveller who wants to just get HIGH ON LIFE.

Here are some more reasons you won’t take drugs in Ibiza.

Alcohol

You won’t take alcohol in Ibiza because alcohol is drunk, not taken. And you will drink alcohol in Ibiza because at camp we have a €10/all-you-can-drink deal on beer and sangria. In da club you won’t drink alcohol because it’s super expensive, but even then you will probably buy a bunch of rum colas and then combine your hangover with bankruptcy.

Cigarettes

You won’t hit the cigarettes in Ibiza because we’re the vape generation, so instead we’ll sit around sucking on little robot dildos and blowing out vast plumes of apple-scented android fog, because we want to live forever even if we look like massive tools doing so.

Marijuana

You won’t smoke the devil’s lettuce in Ibiza because you don’t want to sit around being spun out on just how vast the universe is, man. You also don’t want to chill out, talking shit and enjoying the sunny beach days, while munching on the delicious meals whipped up by our in-camp cooks. You won’t want to suck on a delicious hash joint while you’re doing that at all.

Ecstacy

You won’t want to take a pill in Ibiza because you don’t want to be totally predictable. Everybody’s taking pills in Ibiza, because they’re pretty much perfect for the vibe and the music, but you won’t take any pills because you’re a mega individual.  

Cocaine

You won’t do any coke in Ibiza because you don’t want to be ducking into the toilets every 15 minutes. You also won’t need the extra energy while partying for 16-hours straight on the fourth day. You can just have a couple of octuple-shot espressos every 15 minutes; perhaps snort them, in the bathroom. You also won’t do cocaine because it probably costs like €50 a gram, and ain’t nobody going to fork out that kind of cash.

MDMA

You won’t do MDMA in Ibiza because you don’t want to feel really nice while looking really bad.

Ketamine

You won’t take special K in Ibiza because ketamine is designed to tranquilise horses so there’s no way that’ll be any good for partying all night in a club filled with thumping beats, beautiful weirdos and insane stage/light shows. No way at all…

Heroin/Meth

You won’t do heroin or meth in Ibiza because you’re not a bloody idiot.

There you have it. Are you now ready for some good, wholesome Ibiza fun? Come and join us at our Beach Camp, it’s a PG blast!

Or if April/May is more your jam, let’s not do drugs together in Ibiza for Spring Break/Easter vacation!

Related Trips
Stoke Summer Camp
Europe
The Spanish
Spain
Ibiza Beach Camp
Europe
Spring Break Ibiza
Europe
Related Articles
Introducing Stoke Summer Camps: A Playground for Adults

“This one time… at Stoke Summer camp…” How does the rest of that line go? Yes! Stoke Travel bring you it’s own version of summer camps – like the band…

Read More

Ibiza: So Much More Than A Party Destination

What Ibiza did for me, totally unexpected! A weekend in Ibiza had always been on the top of my bucket list. The blue baleric waters, beautiful people, boho vibes, and…

Read More

The Hottest DJs In Ibiza This Summer

Let me tell you a little something about Ibiza and DJs in Ibiza this summer The 2019 hottest Ibiza DJ list coming soon. In the meantime, check out our Ibiza…

Read More

Press Release: Stoke to Move All Beach Camps to Tasmania in 2019

Stoke CEO Toby Paramor has announced that as part of his 2017 strategy to make Stoke Travel great again, the Ibiza beach camp will be closed down and relocated to Hobart, Tasmania.

Read More

Ibiza’s Best Beaches

Long before Ibiza was a place where party tragics filled their face with narcotics and broke their ankles to repetitive robot beats, it was an island of immense natural beauty….

Read More

Guide To Being As Hot As Possible In Ibiza

If there’s anywhere in the world where it pays to be the hottest you can be it’s Ibiza. The notorious party island isn’t merely a summer-long ecstasy taste test, no!…

Read More

Stoke Travel’s Ibiza Beach Camp Christmas Wish List

Things have almost ground to a halt in Ibiza as the summer tourists, workers and DJs (and Djs’ groupies) have long since departed, leaving our favourite party island all but…

Read More

What To Do In Europe For Spring Break

  Whether you’re here for a semester of studying abroad, or planning a trip from your home college, there are so many things to do in Europe for Spring Break….

Read More

COPYWRITER HAVING HARD TIME MAKING EASTER SOUND FUN WITHOUT OFFENDING RELIGIOUS GUESTS

A local copywriter has been given the unenvious task of making Easter sound cool, without offending former, current and future guests who may follow one of the monotheistic religions. “Oh…

Read More

Family Confused If Travelling Son Really Took A Pill In Ibiza, Or Was Just Quoting A Song Lyric

ibiza 2019spring breakA crisis meeting has been held at the Rhode Island family home of Brian Wheeler, 22, after the outgoing young traveller recently quoted a hit song as the…

Read More

What To Do Between Parties: Ibiza

We know it can be hard to imagine a time in Ibiza that wouldn’t be better spent partying. Trust us when we say that there’s plenty of champagne and, ahem……

Read More

Five Ways To Prepare For Ibiza NOW

Ibiza is fantastic and you’re just going to love it. Is it the greatest place in the world? If you like having fun, then it may as well be. It’s…

Read More

Search Stoke Travel Search by Trip, Destination, Month...